The Bachelor Recap: Women (and a Chicken) Tell All

There was a time where the Women Tell All episode was the best episode of the season. All the girls together on one stage with their new revenge bodies and ready to fight with one another and attack the man that dumped them all. Now it is filled with pre-taped footage and girls you don’t remember airing their every grievance. But still entertaining.

After we are forced to sit through Chris Harrison and Ben Higgins crashing viewing parties, apparently people in LA don’t lock their doors, we finally get to the ladies. They brought back the chicken enthusiast, with her chicken, Sheila, who steals the whole show. Jami is back and so are her breasts. Apparently there was an Izzy on the show? All I can think is if they were going to bring these guys back, why can’t we get Mandi with the giant rose head back?

Of course the fan favorites return: Lace, Jubilee, Becca, Calia, Amanda, and Lauren H. The villains: Olivia and Leah (note: Leah gets more boos than Olivia). And the Twins (not sure they fit in either the favorites or the villains category). Leah gets attacked first for creating a problem with Lauren B to try and save herself. She should just admit that it was her last ‘Hail Mary’ to stay in the house. But instead she pulls out an innocent comment Lauren made about not understanding why girls were sad when they left. And when Becca tells Leah that she lied to her face (backed up by video), Leah says she didn’t intentionally lie, ok.

Luckily for Leah the tide turns onto Jubilee. It quickly gets uncomfortable as Amber and Jami attack her for saying she was the only ‘real black girl’. Obviously ABC and The Bachelor have shown that they cannot handle the horrific race issue that this show has, and sadly it manifests by the girls turning on themselves and not on the show. Jubilee gets put in the hot seat and admits that it takes awhile to get to know here and that she was very insecure for the situation. We also learn that she is in the Army Reserve and just made Sergeant. So as we all know already, she is in a class way above these other girls. You go Jubilee.

Who is ready for Lace? Lace got a haircut and some wicked highlights. She is working on loving herself but knows she isn’t there yet. She calls her mom a lot and avoids using the word crazy. But she may want to add that word back to her vocab because a man jumps out of the audience to show off the tattoo he got of her face on his ribs. Oh yeah and you will be seeing Lace on Bachelor in Paradise.

Olivia is next on the chopping block. The twins waste no time ripping into her. One of them (no I don’t know which one) is mad that she didn’t think her romper was cute? And everyone is so over her stealing Ben first. Amanda wants Olivia to know that being a single mom is ‘her jam’ and Jen said that she likes smart things too, Olivia just never asked.Olivia tries to explain that she was an introvert and bullied and she gave her Instagram accounts to her sister because everyone is so mean. No one feels bad for poor Olivia.

Onto the most recently dumped, Calia. Calia is forced to watch herself being dumped again and when she tries to take any positive out of it, Chris is there to pull her down. She then gives her best Bachelorette audition line: I want someone to look at me the way that Ben looks at Lauren and JoJo. Well looks like she will be getting 25 men to do just that soon enough.

Finally it is time to bring out Ben. The commercials made it seem like the girls were going to attack him but it might as well be night one because all the girls are still smitten. Becca was happy just to know men like him existed (eye roll). Amanda was happy that Ben cried when she left and Calia understands after seeing his time with Lauren and JoJo. Chris of course brings up the fact he dropped the ‘L word’ to both contestants. Ben gives some sort of explanation but insists that he would marry the girl he picks tomorrow. This is his shocking quote, that is not shocking at all. To wake the audience up we get to see some bloopers, the best of which involves Becca forgetting which guy she is dating and what season she is on.

Now we wait for the big finale. Lauren or JoJo? I’m going Lauren, all the way. We shall see.

~Lauren

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