The Bachelor Recap Episode 2: Always a Bridesmaid

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Nick Viall has a history with marriage, not a history of being married but a history of events surrounding it. Unless you’ve been living under a rock and muting your television, you know that Nick was oh so close to being engaged twice on TV before being dumped. He also attends weddings, most notably Jade Roper & Tanner Tolbert’s (Bachelor Alum) wedding. When he attends these weddings, sometimes he hooks up with bridesmaids, most notably Liz, who is a contestant on this season of the Bachelor. Now that I’ve pointed out these obvious facts, let’s get a move on with the recap.

The remaining 22 ladies get acquainted with the Bachelor mansion and Chris Harrison drops in for a chat. Unfortunately, not all of these ladies will receive dates this week so when they see Nick, they must make the most of it. And with that piece of advice, he leaves the first date card which reads “Always a Bridesmaid.” This group date consists of a ton of ladies, most notably (read: the names I can remember): Vanessa, Raven, Brittany, Taylor, and Corinne.

The ladies are brought on the set of a photo shoot with eccentric and eclectic photographer, Franco. They all will be dressing up in wedding or bridesmaid dresses in the most ridiculous themes possible of course to be photographed with Nick. Sounds like a whole lot of fun, right? When I say ridiculous themes I’m referring to things like: “80’s Wedding”, “Vegas Wedding”, “Biker Wedding” etc. Poor Alexis (dolphin/shark) gets the honor of dressing up as the “Shotgun Wedding Bride”. Corinne is pretty stoked though because she gets to be a “Beach Bride”, what does that mean? It means she gets dressed in a veil, bikini top, and sarong – and as she says “she is obviously the sexy one.” Corinne is as happy as she could be until she gets a peek at Brittany’s outfit, which is a bikini bottom covered in leaves – no top. Brittany gets to be Eve, you know the big Adam and Eve wedding scene in the Bible? (Yeah me neither).

These photo shoots are painful to watch as Nick struggles to manage even remote small talk and the girls wrestle to kiss him in front of the camera. Corinne gets more and more agitated until Brittany’s Eve scene makes her boil over. Corinne’s photos take place in a pool (what beach wedding doesn’t take place in a pool?) and it dawns on her that the only way to upstage Brittany is to take her top off and demand that Nick grab her breasts “like Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl performance.” In a complete disappointment to most viewers (me included), Nick obliged. No surprise, Corinne was chosen by Franco as the winner of the challenge.

At the after party, Corinne wastes no time and grabs Nick right away. Talk is overrated so she just makes out with him. The other girls then attempt time with Nick, but Corinne also wastes no time getting sloppy drunk and DGAF so she steals him from every girl possible. Alexis and Taylor are the main victims to this, though Raven and Vanessa are getting fed up too. Taylor reminds herself that she is a strong woman and goes and steals Nick back from Corinne. Well, hold the phone, because that is not ok with drunk Corinne. She sloppily explains the stealing rules which boils down to finders keepers, but no take backs and please refill my drink. In another disappointing act, Corinne get’s the date rose. She also gives a slurring acceptance speech – cue the eye roll from the other girls.

This leads us to the first one-on-one date which goes to Danielle M. Danielle M. is a beautiful blonde natal intensive care nurse who reminds me so much of Whitney Bischoff and who also always looks like she just got up from a nap. They fly on a helicopter, land on a yacht – you know the basics. Over dinner Danielle confides in Nick that she was engaged once, he passed away from a drug overdose. Even more distressing, she found him and had no idea he had a drug problem. This revelation comes after Nick whining about behind dumped on TV, needless to say she wins. She also gets the rose.

Back at the house, Liz is bursting at the seams with her secret. Or at least the producers are milking it for all it’s worth. She decides that she must tell someone, so she confides in Christen, the virgin, about her and Nick’s sexual encounter. This admission takes all day and several outfit changes. And shock, they both are on the next group date which is teased with: “We need to talk.” And what do you know, Liz and Nick do need to talk.

The group dates takes place in a very romantic place, the Museum of Broken Relationships. The girls get to see mementos left behind from lost love including Nick’s Neil Lane engagement ring he picked out for Kaitlyn. Liz is very anxious and attempts to talk to Nick multiple times during the date but Nick avoids eye contact and disappears. He acts like a straight up coward if you ask me. Of course the plot twist of the date is that they all get to perform fake “break-ups” with Nick. Oh what fun.

Josephine (crazy hot dog girl) actually slaps Nick in the face and calls him an alcoholic. Kristina (Russian) breaks up with him for not flossing and finally we get to Liz. Liz uses this opportunity to pour her heart out to Nick with the facts of their relationship since he won’t listen to hear at any other point. Even when forced to listen, Nick rolls his eyes and stares at the sky. Poor Liz.

At the after party all Nick can focus on his tension with Liz but of course he won’t talk to Liz. Instead, he talks to literally every other girl. Christen – no surprise – spills the beans that Liz told her about their history. Nick realizes he can’t avoid the elephant in the room anymore and talks to Liz. He sends her home without much discussion. This is obviously a decision he made night one, and I’m pretty annoyed he went with the producers to draw this out. He should’ve sent her home night one when he knew he didn’t want to pursue a relationship. Nick finishes off the episode by revealing the truth about his past with Liz to the rest of the girls. So you know next week will be fun.

-Lauren

 

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