Book Recommendations for Social Distancing

Phew. How are you doing? The world has turned absolutely upside down in the past few weeks. I have just finished my second full week of working from home to social distance in an effort to slow the spread of COVID – 19. It’s surreal to see this pandemic affect everyone on this planet in one way or another. I hope you are safe, I hope you are home, I hope the world returns to some semblance of normal soon.

On a positive note, I have witnessed so much compassion from other people during this scary time. From donating money and supplies to sharing free concerts, workouts, courses etc. to keep us entertained and active. I wanted to contribute, you definitely don’t want to see me workout nor sing but one thing I am good at is reading books. I’ve read a lot of books (plenty of people read way more than me), and I know that reading can be a great escape during this anxious period. So here are some recommendations of some books that could help get you through.

Note: I have linked the cover images to IndieBound.com to support local bookstores. I encourage you to order from a local bookstore in your area if they offer online ordering.

Funny Books

If you are looking for something that will make you laugh, here are some options that have made me smile in the past.

Nothing to See Here

by Kevin Wilson

This book was one of my favorite reads of 2019, I don’t think any other book has made me laugh so hard. The story follows Lillian, a young woman who is bored with her life. Then an old friend from high school calls with a peculiar job offer, be the full-time nanny for her new husband’s two children. The only problem is that these kids catch on fire. When they get angry or upset they will burst into flames. Their father is a rising politician so he has to keep this a secret, that’s where Lillian comes in and chaos ensues. This book is hilarious and heart-warming, definitely pick it up if you need a laugh.

Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? And Other Questions You Should Have Answered to When You Work in the White House

by Alyssa Mastromonaco

This is 100% not a political post, but I had to throw this book in here. Disclaimer upfront, if you were not a fan of President Barak Obama, you will not enjoy this book. Now that we got that out of the way, this book is fascinating, inspiring, and hilarious. Alyssa worked for President Obama for a decade before he ended up in the White House, where she continued to work for him. She has great stories about the inner workings of an election campaign and the White House and these stories are often funny as well, like a lack of bathrooms in the Vatican. If you want to escape backwards to a different administration, this is for you.

The Martian by Andy Weir

If you have seen the Matt Damon movie based on this book, you need to read the book! If you haven’t seen the movie, you still need to read the book. I’m not into space or sci-fi books but I loved this novel. It’s dealing with a serious subject, the main character is stranded on Mars when his crew leaves without him (they think he’s dead), and he has to find a way to survive and a way to get home. Doesn’t sound super funny, but the main character, Mark Watney has a great dry humor throughout the book. It’s a very entertaining read.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

(A Mostly True Memoir)

by Jenny Lawson

Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess is one of the funniest people alive, this is not up for discussion. This is Jenny’s first book, and I think her best. Get ready for a lot of laughs and taxidermy! Jenny is also very upfront about her battle with depression, if you have suffered from depression or are dealing with a lot of mental distress over the pandemic, I think you will relate to Jenny and laugh a lot along the way.

Thrillers

If you are in the mood for an ‘on the edge of your seat’ read, here are some of my favorites.

Sharp Objects

by Gillian Flynn

Gillian Flynn is best known for her masterpiece, Gone Girl which became a movie starring Ben Affleck. That is a brilliant novel that began a new genre of flawed women driven thrillers that is still super popular. I actually think that Sharp Objects is her best work. This novel became an HBO limited series starring Amy Adams that was amazing. This book has murder, family drama, alcoholism, self-harm, and a southern matriarch. This book will definitely leave you up late to finish it and with a great twist at the end too. A riveting mystery to get lost in.

Serena

by Ron Rash

This book is a great atmospheric tension-filled thriller. Serena takes place in North Carolina during the depression following timber baron George Pemberton and his wife Serena. While George is the business owner, Serena takes charge and is unrelenting and cutthroat toward the workers. When it is reveled that George has a son from another woman, Serena will not stop until she gets revenge. This isn’t a thriller with a lot of twists but as the tension builds you will not be able to put it down. And if you are missing the outdoors right now, this will give you gorgeous descriptions of the Appalachian mountains.

The Family Upstairs

by Lisa Jewell

Who loves a good cult mystery? This story is told in alternating chapters from present day where twenty-five-year-old Libby Jones inherits a house from her birth family which she knows nothing about and the tragic past events that took place in that house. What follows is a great story about family, love, and the magnetism of a charismatic cult leader.

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WTF

If you want to take the classic thriller a step further, these picks are completely over the top. When you reach the end you’ll be asking yourself “WTF did I just read?” Which may be exactly what you need to get your mind off of a massive pandemic.

Verity

by Colleen Hoover

If you are a big reader, I am sure you have heard about this book, it may have been the most talked about book of 2019. This story follows Lowen Ashleigh, a struggling writer who is asked to finish a very popular series of books by best-selling author Verity Crawford. Verity has been injured in an accident and cannot complete the novels. Lowen arrives at Verity’s massive and creepy mansion to find outlines and notes to help her finish the story. While she’s there she forms a connection with Verity’s husband Jeremy and also finds an unpublished manuscript filled with shocking secrets. I won’t tell you anything else so I don’t give anything away but this book will leave your jaw on the floor at the end, the hype is real.

The Silent Patient

by Alex Michaelides

This is one of my favorite reads of 2019 and is on my top 5 list of all-time thrillers. Our main character, Alicia Berenson, is a successful painter and has a seemingly happy marriage. Then one day she shoots her husband in the face five times and never speaks another word. Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist determined to make Alicia talk and explain why she killed her husband. This story takes very unexpected twists and turns that will leave you up all night trying to figure out what happened.

Luckiest Girl Alive

by Jessica Knoll

When thinking for books for this category, this book immediately jumped to my mind which was surprising because I read it five years ago. But this one has stuck with me for a long time because it was a huge twist. I’ll describe this book as Sex in the City meets Gone Girl meets Gossip Girl. Ani FaNelli has a dream job, killer wardrobe, and a gorgeous fiancé. All of it is overcompensation for a humiliating experience in her preppy high school. But her traumatizing high school experience isn’t what it seems and as the details slowly come to the surface you end up far from where you think this story is going.

Thought-Provoking

Sometimes the only way to get your brain to stop focusing on one major problem is to busy it with something else. These books will make you think about right and wrong, your morals and convictions, and what you would do in difficult situations.

Such a Fun Age

by Kiley Reid

This novel is one of the most buzzed-about books of early 2020. Twenty-five-year-old Emira Tucker is a babysitter for the successful Chamberlin family. One night when she’s asked to take the family’s three-year-old daughter to the store, she is accused of kidnapping the child because the child is white and she is black. This event sets off a chain of events exploring race, class, parenthood, relationships and societal norms. Long after you finish this book your mind will be analyzing who is right and who is wrong and how these situations should or should not be handled.

Miracle Creek

by Angie Kim

This drama follows a group of people brought together for treatment in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, an alternative treatment for everything from autism to infertility. Parents bring their sick children, desperate infertile couples come in for ‘dives.’ The chamber is owned by an immigrant family working to give their daughter a better life. Tragedy strikes when the chamber blows up and two people are left dead. The novel follows the trial that results from the explosion that was clearly not an accident. The perspectives of the owners and participants are explored as we travel to a resolution. This book is a great exploration of parenthood, the immigrant experience, and alternative medicine.

All The Ugly and Wonderful Things

by Bryn Greenwood

This is one of my all-time favorite books, it is also one of the most controversial novels out there. Trigger warning up front, this book discusses an inappropriate relationship between an adult and a minor. The story follows Wavy, daughter to drug dealers who could care less about her or her younger brother. The only person she grows to trust is one of her father’s ‘thug’ friends, Kellen. As she grows up, he’s the only consistent presence in her life but the line between friendship and something more gets more blurry as the book goes on. It is a very fascinating book that will really make you think.

The Devil You Don’t Know

Today, at the ripe old age of 28, I got braces. The full on metal ones with brackets and wires – the whole shabang. As I sit here with a sore and foreign feeling mouth, I’m trying to convince myself that this was a good idea.

Growing up as a female in America, I learned to hate everything about my appearance. On my long list of insecurities, my teeth have always been at the top of the list. But they’ve also been the one thing that I never discussed. I have always kept it to myself how I’ve felt about my teeth. I’ve tried to convince myself that they don’t bother me. I even went through a period of ‘society tells us we need perfect teeth but that is bullshit, I will wear my crooked teeth proud’ phase.

In reality, I’ve never once smiled with my teeth in a school photo. I cover my mouth when I laugh. I cannot watch myself on recorded video because I can see my teeth when I talk. I’ve spent years standing off with photographers telling me to smile and not accepting my closed mouth response.

Aside from how my teeth look, my dentist has informed me that the positioning of my teeth are preventing me from getting them clean enough to be healthy. It’s in the best interest in my health to fix this too.

So I finally bit the bullet and went to see an orthodontist. After all the x-rays, he came in and shook my hand and asked what I didn’t like about my smile. I was at a loss, I couldn’t think of anything I did like about it. What followed was an intense conversation about jaw surgery, teeth removal, and a long treatment. Nothing is ever simple or easy. Not to mention the bill – with no insurance benefits of course.

What came next was a meeting with an oral surgeon that left me terrified. I realized that I’m willing to make a change but not to put myself through a major surgery. So everyone is just going to have to live with my overbite.

Here’s the thing – I hate the way my teeth look, I want to be able to smile with my teeth in photos, I am sick of my dentist bringing it up. But I have lived with my mouth like this for my entire life. I’ve learned how to smile with my mouth closed, I know where the right top lip can pull up a little far and expose my canine if I smile too big. I don’t know how to talk with my braces without being utterly distracting. I don’t know what the end result will be with my teeth. What if having braces affects the way I’m seen professionally? What if I end up getting teeth removed? What if I have a noticeable lisp when I speak? What if I don’t like the smile I end up with?

It is the devil that I do not know.

Something I have been reckoning with is that my instinct in tough situations is flight over fight. Ignore the problem. Accept the answer even if you don’t like it. Run from conflict. An hour after I left the orthodontist’s office today, my urge was to drive back and tell them to take them off and I’ll live with what I have. But I’m doing my best to be brave and assuring myself that I’m doing the right thing in the long run.

It’s only day one on a journey of an unknown length. It already is not easy. But I’m going to try my best to move through this one day at a time, and love myself every step of the way.

Book Review: Becoming by Michelle Obama

A big goal for me in 2019 is to make time for the things that I enjoy. It is such a simple concept but as life gets busier with work, family, adult things etc. the first thing that seems to go are the things that make us happy. I truly believe that taking away those things actually makes us less effective in the other areas of our lives. If we can’t make time for ourselves and our passions then we cannot bring our best selves to the other pieces of our lives.

That being said, reading is truly a passion of mine. I’ve been a big reader my entire life and I am at my best when I have a good book in my hand. So my goal is to keep reading, to find time for it and not feel guilty for taking time away from other things to read – because it makes me happy and it makes me better.

I finally finished my first read of 2019, Becoming by Michelle Obama. I received the book for Christmas and tortured myself to wait until the new year to start it because I felt that it would be the perfect book to begin a year with. It was well worth the wait.

Michelle Obama is one of the most popular First Ladies in history but there is so much more to her than that. It would be hard for me to write a review that is completely unbiased. So here is my full disclosure statement: Michelle Obama inspires me, she will always top the list of “if you could have dinner with 5 people alive or dead list,” and I will always be a huge supporter of her.

It is no surprise that I enjoyed this book very much, but it wasn’t just because I went into it with a high opinion of the author. The book is broken into three parts, Becoming Me, Becoming Us, and Becoming More. I absolutely loved the organization of how she chose to tell her story.

The first section, Becoming Me, told the story of how she grew up on the South Side of Chicago in her Great-Aunt’s house with her parents and her brother. It is beautiful to see how her family played such a huge role in her life. I was particularly taken with the relationship she had with her father who suffered from Multiple Sclerosis, but never missed a day of work. She didn’t grow up wealthy, her parents never owned a home or had more than one vehicle but her parents put everything they did have toward ensuring their children had everything they needed to succeed.

Michelle attended Princeton and Harvard Law, she never wavered in her path to succeed. I didn’t know that she met Barack because she was assigned to be his mentor at the law firm she worked at, he got advice from her as a law student. Something that resonated with me in her story is that she never got comfortable, she was always looking for how she could make a bigger difference and help more people. It takes incredible courage to leave a high-paying, secure job for an unknown opportunity to help others, especially when she didn’t grow up with financial security.

The second section, Becoming Us, talks about her marriage to Barack and the beginnings of his political career to his 2008 campaign for President. Michelle is honest and vulnerable here, sharing her struggle to get pregnant, getting through marriage growing pains, and her fears and hesitations about Barack getting involved in politics. It is clear that the Obama marriage is a partnership and Barack wouldn’t have ran for President unless they were both completely dedicated.

The third section, Becoming More, details their time in the Whitehouse. This section has great insider stories of the inner workings of being the First Family. Michelle also talks about how she didn’t want to sit back and hold luncheons and redecorate, she wanted to influence change in her own way. She did this in many initiatives, the most popular being her campaign to combat childhood obesity.

The book was fascinating and it left me with even more admiration for Michelle Obama. I was moved to tears after reading the epilogue n which she reminds us of all the good in this world even in times where it feels that all the good has vanished.

Michelle’s story is absolutely inspiring and I encourage everyone to read this book.

Goals?

Happy New Year! I can’t believe it is 2019, which means I graduated high school ten years ago. I’m not sure how that is even possible, I mean I don’t have a six-figure income, husband, 2.5 kids, and a house payment yet so something must be off in the math. I’m kidding, kind of. As I write this, in a Starbucks on a sunny January day, I can’t help but be sucked into the new year spiral.

Everywhere I look it’s “new year, new goals” or it’s “new year, same me.” There seems to be contentious battle between using the new year to propel yourself into brand new things and realizing that January 1 is just a day and you are doing just fine. I think we all live somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. It’s only natural to want to work toward “bigger and better things” and the new year is the perfect starting point. I’m guilty of telling myself that I will stop “insert bad habit here” in the new year and I will start “insert good habit here” in the new year. But it’s a lot of pressure.

I opened my brand new planner and on the first page were a bunch of boxes to write your goals for the year – fitness goals, personal goals, spiritual goals, career goals as well as questions like, How do you want to grow? What new things are you going to try? Where do you want to travel? My eyes about bulged out of my head, how does one make this many statements about a year they know nothing about and try to accomplish them? No wonder most people burn out – it’s exhausting to try and become a brand new person.

But on January 1, we’re all invincible. For example, I went to an open house workout at the local YMCA which consisted of two hours of six different exercise classes that they offered. It’s been five days and I’m still walking funny. On January 1 it is like we can wake up and be a brand new human. A human that can totally do two hours of cardio and strength training without dying. A human that suddenly loves all things salad. A human who suddenly becomes a genius at their job.

But after 24 hours it isn’t January 1 anymore and it seems the further away the date gets, the less of that new human exists. I’m not saying goals aren’t great. Goals are awesome and pushing yourself is great but also be kind to yourself. You are pretty great the way you already are. You can take your dog on more walks but not be a fitness guru, you can eat a few more salads in your diet but still indulge in carbs, you can contribute more in meetings but not solve your company’s biggest problem – it’s still progress.

I hope you have an amazing 2019, I hope you grow and achieve great things, but I also hope you know that you already are an awesome human.

National Suicide Prevention Week – Day 7 – Continue the Work

Hello,

We made it to the end of National Suicide Prevention Week. Thank you for spending time on this important cause this week, it means the world to me. Just because this week of public awareness is over doesn’t mean the work stops here. Those who struggle with mental health don’t just struggle this week, they struggle year round.

Continue sharing the resources, continue reaching out to friends, continue donating, continue involvement with local organizations. We can make a difference. We can help those in need. We can end the stigma around mental health. We can allow more people to see tomorrow.

While my daily blog posts on Suicide prevention will end, I will not stop fighting. Thank you for reading, donating, sharing – it makes a huge difference. If you’re looking for more ways to get involved, check out To Write Love On Her Arms blog post.

See You Tomorrow and Every Day After That.

Lauren

National Suicide Prevention Week – Day 6 – Share YOUR Resources

Hello,

We’re almost to the end of National Suicide Prevention Week. My purpose for blogging every day this week is to spread awareness, share resources, raise money, and share my story – all to help those who may be struggling. I’ve shared national resources and an engine to find local resources but now I want to share some resources that have personally helped me.

Amanda Rausch LMFT, LLC

Amanda was my therapist for approximately three years and she has helped me so much. Amanda is based in Seattle, but operates much of her practice through phone calls and video calls. She is a therapist, coach, meditation instructor, yoga instructor, a licensed marriage and family therapist and much more! I’d recommend her to anyone.

Talkspace

I originally found Amanda through a site called Pretty Padded Room, which (along with other online therapy sites) turned into Talkspace. They have 2000+ licensed therapists. To get started you take an assessment and get matched with a therapist. This is the go-to “text therapy” service out there.

Crisis Textline – 741741

I’ve plugged it earlier this week, but the Crisis Textline has helped me out a lot. When you are in a dark place and feel like you have no one to turn to – text this number and a trained counselor is there to talk you through anything and everything. Sometimes you can’t talk to your friends or your family but you need someone – that is what they are there for – 24/7.

Beaumont Behavioral Health

This is a local resource. I’ve recently begun therapy at Beaumont Behavioral Health (due to them accepting my health insurance). If you are in Central Kentucky, they have multiple locations and have counselors/therapists for couples, families, individuals, for medication management, and substance abuse. My relationship with this clinic is new but so far I am very happy.

The Mighty

The Mighty is a digital health community focused on people facing mental health problems, illness, and disabilities. This community allows anyone to submit a story and has personalized newsletters for anything that you may be interested in. This is a great place to go if you feel alone – with over 2 million registered users, you’ll easily see that you are not alone and you can connect with people who are also facing the same things.

Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

This resource is actually a book, but this book has saved my life and I actually carry around a highlighted copy with me in my purse in case I ever need it. Matt Haig suffers from depression and he writes about is trials and tribulations with the disease and how he overcame suicidal thoughts. This book is funny, relateable and touching. I think everyone should read it.

If you’ve turned to resources to help you through mental illness, I encourage you to share those resources with others. And share them with To Write Love On Your Arms so they can build  their database.

See You Tomorrow

Lauren

National Suicide Prevention Week – Day 5 – Support Treatment & Recovery

Hello,

It is Day 5 of National Suicide Prevention Week, and today the focus is supporting treatment and recovery. There is so much that we can do for one another, reach out, vocalize what those people mean to you, share the resources but for people who are struggling with mental health, treatment and recovery is ultimately what will make a difference.

Therapy and counseling is not free and it’s not cheap. Not everyone has health insurance and even if you do, it may not cover these services. And the resources that help people in crisis can’t run without donations.

To Write Love On Her Arms – This non-profit provides counseling scholarships to those in-need that cannot afford to get help. Donate Here.

Crisis Text Line – This service provides free around the clock support to anyone who needs someone to talk to, all people staffing the crisis text line are trained crisis counselor. Donate Here.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline – This service provides free around the clock support to anyone struggling with mental health as well as provide support to people surrounding anyone who is struggling with mental health. Donate Here.

You can also find a list of local crisis centers which really need donations to keep doing the good work they are doing – find your local crisis center here.

Every Dollar Counts.

See you Tomorrow.

National Suicide Prevention Week – Day 4 – Tomorrow Needs You

Hello Again!

Today is about reaching out to others around you letting them know that they matter and that tomorrow needs them too. It may sound hokey but people reaching out to me and telling me that I matter to them has pulled me out of dark places countless times. The smallest comment can make the biggest difference.

Comments that have kept me going this year:

You are the sweetest person.

You look fire in that dress.

You’re a great friend.

I see you working out and your dedication inspires me.

You’re killing it.

You are one of the strongest and most thoughtful women in my life.

You are a fantastic writer.

You’re mother would be so proud of you.

I’m proud of you.

These words take minutes to say but they have such a lasting the fact on the people you say them to. Take a second and tell your friends and family why you love them.

National Suicide Prevention Week 2018 – Day 3 – Know and Share the Resources

Hello,

It is Day 3 of National Suicide Prevention Week. The focus today is know the resources and share the resources. There are resources out there to help people who are suicidal but most people do not know about them. Obviously, if someone is in immediate danger, you need to call 911 (or your emergency number if not in the US). But if someone is in need of help but isn’t in immediate danger, there are resources that you can share with them.

The Crisis Text Line is one resource that has personally helped me and is a great option for people who don’t want to take the step to actually call someone. As a member of the millennial generation, I admit that I am more comfortable texting than talking on the phone and I know a lot of people feel the same way. The Crisis Text Line is free and is staffed 24 hours a day 7 days a week by trained individuals who will talk to you about anything and everything that you need to talk about. They will also connect you to other resources if deemed necessary.

Crisis Text Line (US)

741741

Crisis Text Line (Canada)

686868

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free support to individuals in crisis as well as support for the people close to these individuals who need help in knowing how to assist them. The Lifeline is free and staffed 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

There are also great resources specifically for veterans, The Veterans Crisis Hotline 1-800-273-8255 and Text Line 838255 and resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning young people (ages 13-24) The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386 or text TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200 from 3 PM – 10 PM (EST) Monday – Friday.

You can find these resources and local resources in your area at http://www.twloa.com/find-help. I encourage you to put these phone numbers in your phone in case you or anyone you love ever needs it.

I’ll See You Tomorrow.

Lauren

National Suicide Prevention Week 2018 – Day 2 – World Suicide Prevention Day

Hello,

I am back for Day 2 of National Suicide Prevention Week and today is also World Suicide Prevention Day. Today, lets focus on awareness. Did you know that 800,000 people die from suicide worldwide every year? That is one person every 40 seconds. The suicide rate has risen 25% in the United States in the past 20 years. (These stats provided by To Write Love On Her Arms/www.twloha.com)

You are probably familiar with the high profile suicides of Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, and Kate Spade (just to name a few recent cases). But let’s revisit the stat from above, 800,000 people die from suicide every year. It isn’t just people who are famous, it can be anyone, anywhere. The sad reality is that it is probable that someone you know will die from suicide.

Mental health still has a stigma attached to it. We don’t talk about it, we don’t get treatment for it, we don’t understand it. By not talking about mental health, we aren’t recognizing that there is a problem we aren’t addressing the fact that suicide is on the rise, as a whole we fall under the assumption that this is rare and it won’t happen to me or anyone around me. But the stats do not lie, and it’s simply not true.

So today, I’m asking you to talk about it with people in your life. It isn’t the easiest conversation to have, but the more we talk about it, the more aware we are, the more prepared we are to help others and change those statistics. Also, by talking to the people you love about mental health and suicide, you are showing them that you are someone that they can turn to if they are struggling.

Image Credit: To Write Love On Her Arms

This year, To Write Love On Her Arms created the slogan Tomorrow Needs You for World Suicide Prevention Day. It asks supporters to finish this statement: Tomorrow Needs Me Because…

Take a second and finish the statement and ask your friends and family to finish it too. Because Tomorrow Needs You. Find out how you can help spread awareness, raise money, and help others here.

I will see you tomorrow 🙂