Book Review: Single State of Mind

If you know me, you know that The Bachelor is my guilty pleasure/obsession. I’ve watched it since it began in 2002 and I’m an avid live tweeter of the franchise every Monday night. I usually don’t let my trashy TV leak into my reading but there is something endearing about Andi Dorfman.

Andi first appeared on Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor. She made it to the final 3 and shocked everyone when she dumped Juan Pablo after a night in the fantasy suite. Her boldness worked in her favor as Juan Pablo easily became one of the most hated bachelors of the franchise. Andi took the role as the new Bachelorette the next season. She picked former minor league baseball player, Josh Murray. After about a year they broke off their engagement.

Andi wrote her first memoir, It’s Not Okay, derailing her breakup. I read that one because I shamelessly wanted the dirt on their breakup. She definitely delivered and spilled a ton of tea. The book became a New York Times Bestseller and was popular enough to get a second book deal.

At first I wasn’t interested in this book because I knew Andi had moved on from the franchise so much less dirt would be included at least from The Bachelor. But I listened to an interview with her on a podcast and I got sucked in. As I said before, Andi is endearing.

I read her first book, I listened this one on audio which I think made a positive difference. She reads it herself and she does a great job of keeping my interest. Single State of Mind is all about Andi’s move to New York and her dating escapades.

There are some very funny and relatable parts to the book – from the difficulty of finding an affordable apartment to attending weddings without a date to being set up with the worst guys. The story feels like a modern version of Sex and the City. Andi has a dry sense of humor that reads well and her writing has vastly improved from her first book.

The glaring issue with this book is a lack of self awareness. Andi tried to relate to the reader but flaunts her privilege all over this book. She talks about the difficultly in finding an apartment she can afford but also goes on a long rant about how she won’t live anywhere but the West Side. She gets free tickets to the Super Bowl, Kentucky Derby and makes it to Fashion Week.

She has privilege and that’s ok but what isn’t is her lack of awareness. She will throw in lines of buying things on clearance and then the next chapter she is rewarding herself with a Cartier watch. She needs her dad to co-sign in her apartment but also takes trips to Seattle, Greece, and Mexico. Her lack of acknowledgement of her financial privilege sticks out and makes her unrelatable to a reader like me.

If you like The Bachelor, this is a fun look at life post-show from the view of a contestant that doesn’t sell tummy tea but don’t set your standards too high.


The Bachelorette: Bios and Predictions



Photo courtesy of

The Bachelorette is back y’all! Nick Viall may have given us a lackluster season of The Bachelor, but his season gave us great girls – including Rachel Lindsay. Aside from being a smart and funny attorney from Dallas, she is also the first African-American lead on the show. I am not going to pat ABC on the back for this because the show has been on 34 seasons and the fact that it has taken this long to have a lead that isn’t white is ridiculous. Rachel is an amazing choice for The Bachelorette and I am extremely excited to watch her on the show.

First off, Rachel is 32 and she obviously stated that she wanted a mature man because the low end of these men are 26-27 all the way up to 37. It is so nice to see a cast that isn’t filled with a bunch of 23 and 24-year-olds. Rachel also has a high-powered career as an attorney and the guys also seem to have some pretty impressive jobs. It isn’t 15 personal trainers “bro-ing” it out (no offensive to personal trainers). Rachel has standards, that is clear and I don’t think she is going to take any shit.

On to the men!


Adam, 27

Adam is a real-estate agent from Dallas. Interesting that he is from the same city as Rachel. He has the face of a real-estate agent – very white teeth. Red flag #1: his three favorite movies are Transformers, The Pursuit of Happyness, and Wolf on Wall Street. I mean who doesn’t love Micheal Bay action, Will Smith tugging at the heart-strings, and Leo DiCaprio with hookers and yachts? He does say a typical night for him includes late night tacos, to which I say “same.” He said his favorite actor is Jennifer Lawerence, ok cool. But his reasoning is that she is “every girl’s goal.” Ummm….excuse me? I love JLaw but my goal isn’t to be her. And the crowning achievement – the most romantic gift he received? A threesome. Boy, bye.

Prediction: Mid-pack. He’s attractive so he’ll slide through for a bit but I don’t think he has a lot in common with Rachel.

Alex.jpgAlex, 28

Alex is an Information Systems Supervisor who apparently appreciates volume in his hair. He says his 3 worst attributes are that he is unapologetic, unemotional, and selfish. Sounds like a great guy to date. He has eaten a live salamander and his favorite artist is The Rock. Is The Rock an artist? He has given a girlfriend a car once and says he treats his S.O. like a queen.

Prediction: Top 5. I don’t think Alex and Rachel have the same life goals but he is one of the more attractive guys in the bunch so I think he will make it pretty far. Physical attraction is a big factor.


Anthony, 26

Anthony is a software manager from Chicago. Rachel already dated a (former) software salesman, and we saw how that turned out. Anthony is smart. He is a Fulbright scholar and has traveled to Indonesia and the Ivory Coast. His favorite movies include Moonlight. He is looking for someone intelligent and funny.

Prediction: Top 3. Anthony is smart and driven, he seems to share the same values as Rachel. If he can stand out in the beginning, I think he has a real shot to go far this season.

Blake E.

Blake E., 31

Blake is “an aspiring drummer” from California. I don’t know if you should be an “aspiring” anything at 31, I really hope he has a real job. The most outrageous thing he has done is get engaged to a crazy girl. He also has weird tattoos. He also doesn’t think “parking ticket people” have souls.

Prediction: Goes home night 1. Ok maybe he makes it to week 2. But not much longer. I don’t see much for Rachel to go off of here.

Blake K.jpg

Blake K., 29

Blake is a Marine Vet. He also loves The Rock and Chipotle. His ideal woman is long? I don’t know what that means. He likes roses, go figure.

Prediction: Goes home night 1. Sorry Blake.

Brady.jpgBrady, 29

Brady is a male model from Miami. I guess he missed out on JoJo’s season, he looks like he’d be best friends with Robby. He hates Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore and he wishes he could be Channing Tatum.

Prediction: Mid-pack. There is no way in hell that Rachel is I picking him but I believe he will have a story arc to get him on Bachelor in Paradise to go after some Bachelor alums.


Bryan, 37

Bryan is a chiropractor and he is at the older end of the spectrum of Rachel’s suitors. Bryan listed 7 attributes when asked what his best 3 attributes were, so he can’t count or is very egotistical. He loves sports and would be Bill Gates for a day if he could.

Prediction: Week 2 or 3. I think he’ll skate by but I don’t see anything super unique or interesting about him.


Bryce, 30

I can’t with this guy. First of all, he has spock ears. Second, of all, he says things like “outrageous is realtive.” He is a firefighter but also caught a girl’s hair on fire during sex.

Prediction: Goes home night one. This guy is ridiculous.


Dean, 26

Dean is a startup recruiter who also has an upper lip tattoo. He believes marriage is an institutionalized sham but said that when he gets married it will be forever. So that is a bit confusing. He also says he wants to pursue a woman because nothing good comes easy. Dean also had the cringeworthy “going black and not going back” comment on After the Final Rose.

Prediction: Top 4. I think Dean is going to stir up some trouble. He is attractive and charming with some “interesting” opinions. I think he will be polarizing but Rachel will like him. I think he is a major player this season.


DeMario, 30

DeMario is an Executive Recruiter from California. He is a self-proclaimed party-starter who loves Prince. He wants a lion named Denzel one day. The most romantic gift he has given were tickets to a Jay Z and Beyonce concert. He loves being a big brother and references Malcolm X.

Prediction: Winner. Just based on bios, he takes it for me. He is super attractive, funny, charismatic and intelligent. I think he and Rachel are going to hit it off and I could see them getting engaged.


Eric, 29

We have to have at least one personal trainer and Eric is it. He likes Tony Robbins and says he is the life of the party. He wants to go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans (someone studied Rachel’s dates with Nick). His favorite drink is Green Drink?

Prediction: Top 6. Eric seems quirky and fun, so I can see Rachel connecting with him but I don’t see her ending up with a personal trainer.


Fred, 27

Fred is an Executive Assistant. He dresses like Carlton Banks. He also went to summer camp with Rachel, she was his counselor and he had a crush on her. He has two masters degrees that he achieved simultaneously. He says he sometimes gets excited at work, which is weird. And his biggest dating fear is his card getting declined.

Prediction: Week 3. I think Rachel will give him a chance but ultimatley I think she is going to think it is weird that she used to look after him at summer camp and I don’t think she will be able to move past it.


Grant, 29

Grant is an emergency room doctor. He once pooped in a Coke bottle, so there’s that. He also sang Ice Ice Baby at a Bar Mitzvah.

Prediction: Week 2. His humor will get him through first cuts but he doesn’t have a lot else going for him.


Iggy, 30

His name is Iggy. But he is kind of adorable. His a Consulting Firm CEO. He is passionate, loyal and witty – which are his best and worst attributes? His favorite magazine is The Harvard Business Review, but is that really a magazine?

Prediction: Mid Pack. I think Iggy will be a loveable personality who gets along with the guys and will be seen again in Paradise. (Think Vinny)

Jack Stone.jpg

Jack Stone, 32

Jack Stone sounds like the name of the main character in a romance novel about an oil baron who is rough around the edges but has a heart of stone. Jack Stone also seems to be staring at me through the computer screen and I’m kind of scared. He is also an attorney from Dallas, go figure.

Prediction: Mid-pack. I feel like he has a story that we will see but I don’t think he will be a major player.


Jamey, 32

Jamey has a tattoo on his shoulder that is being removed, I want to know that story. He also is a fan of Elon Musk. He doesn’t have female friends and says his ideal girl is a model. Gross.

Prediction: Mid-pack. I feel like we have our villain so he has to stick around to cause drama. I hope Rachel ends up throwing him out.


Jedidiah, 35

Contrary to his name, Jedidiah is not Amish, he is an ER doctor. All of his former dogs were at least 1/2 wolf which is a little scary. Also, the producers missed a great opportunity to label him a “wolf-enthusiast.” He had sex on a glacier and built his parent’s 5,000 square foot log cabin in Montana.

Prediction: Goes home the first night. Sorry Jedidiah, I don’t think Rachel is into wolves.


Jonathan, 31

Jonathan is the tickle monster. I know the producers labeled him this but it still creeps me out. He has been divorced, so that could be a great story. He likes Elvis Presley, Britany Spears and Flo Rida – nice eclectic mix.

Prediction: Week 2. Just because I know she doesn’t get rid of a lot of them night one so he might be a hold over.


Josiah, 28

Josiah is also an attorney, makes me curious if Rachel wants to marry another attorney? He lists his height as an attribute which I find strange. He is athletic and likes to be the center of attention. But he doesn’t like to dance.

Prediction: Middle of the pack. Josiah seems to be a pretty cool guy and this sounds crazy but I don’t think Rachel will pick a guy that doesn’t dance. She loves to dance!


Diggy, 31

Diggy is a senior investment analyst. He also goes by Diggy. He likes to drink and go to “low key” bars. He also lists The Devil Wears Prada as one of his favorite movies. He did say that he faked sleep so he didn’t have to look for his one night stand’s missing brother.

Prediction: Top 4. I think Diggy is going to do well, I think he will get along with Rachel well.


Kenny, 35

Kenny is a professional wrestler. He has a daughter and loves The Rock. The most romantic gift he has given is an Edible Arrangements….no comment. His favorite book is The New Jim Crow, great choice.

Prediction: Top 6. I like Kenny and I think he will be a fan favorite. I think Rachel will like him but ultimately friendzone him but I like his chances for The Bachelor or Paradise.


Kyle, 26

Kyle is a Marketing Consultant (whoo Marketing!). Kyle doesn’t trust people, he has disdain for corrupt authority and can be blunt and outspoken. So I feel like he may fight someone. He doesn’t eat gluten but he doesn’t know what it is. He is a butt guy.

Prediction: Week 3. Long enough to piss off the other guys in the house and then exit.


Lee, 30

I need Lee to calm his hair down. Also, Lee is a singer/songwriter. Every season has one. He loves Matthew McConaughey and Scarface.

Prediction: Goes home night one. I’m over the singer/songwriter on the show to get gigs. At least James Taylor was kind of charming. I don’t think Rachel has any time for that.


Lucas, 30

Lucas’s occupation is “waboom.” Ok great. He is an uncle to a cat and has an ant farm. He had a threesome at a wedding. His perfect woman is a combination of Disney princesses and Jessica Rabbit.

Prediction: Week 3. I really want him to go night one but I think the producers will keep him around for a bit for content.


Matt, 32

Matt is a Construction Sales Rep. He looks up to his parents, and would be Matt Lauer for a day if he could be. He coaches kids basketball and his worst date was a Tinder date.

Prediction: Top 4. Matt is hot, kind and intelligent. I think he will go far.


Michael, 26

Michael is a former professional basketball player. He has a scripture tattoo and would love to have lunch with former President Obama. He is confident and doesn’t need to be the center of attention.

Prediction: Final 2. Michael seems like the total package, I think he and Rachel will hit it off.


Milton, 31

Milton is a Hotel Recreation Supervisor, I imagine him running Jazzercize classes at a Sandals resort. He has a bottom lip tattoo and wants to be “discovered.” He doesn’t want to be seen as weak so he is hesitant to be romantic.

Prediction: Week 4. An “Is he here for the right reasons?” storyline and he’s out.

Mohit.jpgMohit, 26

Mohit is a product manager who also loves Elon Musk. He likes to dance, and he likes country and hip hop music (so original). He successfully referenced Seinfeld but also mentioned Tabasco sauce in the bedroom.

Prediction: Week 3. I bet he is pretty forgettable.


Peter, 31

Peter is a business owner. I also think that Peter probably looks better in person, this picture isn’t the best. He doesn’t like heights so he’ll probably have to bungee jump for a date. He used to be a model. He has completed three Iron Mans.

Prediction: Mid-Pack. I think he will get a ticket to Paradise.



Rob, 30

Rob is a law student, I’m interested in if he switched careers or if he’s been in school the whole time. He has traveled a lot and says he is driven, empathetic, and worldly. He wants a woman that will pursue him, wrong show buddy.

Prediction: Week 4. Seems like an interesting guy, but I don’t think he will ultimately connect with Rachel.


Will, 28

Will has traveled a lot and seems very smart. He likes Will Smith and The Shawshank Redemption. He won’t be anyone’s second choice and he can be shy at first in a relationship.

Prediction: Week 3. I like Will but I think his shyness might cause him to be overlooked, there are a lot of big personalities this season.


The Bachelor Recap Episode 3: As Long As Nick Loves Me


I’m sure you all were left in suspense after last week’s episode. Nick slept with Liz at Jade and Tanner’s wedding (in case you forgot) and kept avoiding discussing it with Liz until she finally confronted him. He handled it the way that any mature adult would, he rolled his eyes and ultimately sent her home. But he realizes that he is going to have to come clean about his prior relations to the ladies because Christen already knows and she will obviously tell everyone. So what will the girls do? Cry? Riot?

None of the above. The girls are impressed at his honesty and line up to pat him on the back for this behavior. And why not? I mean it’s one less girl to compete with. Except Corinne is not happy that someone has slept with Nick who was on the show and she hasn’t yet. Her first order of business at the cocktail party is to change that. She ditches her dress for a classic “I’m naked under here” trench coat and snags a can of Reddi-Whip. She leads Nick to the privacy of the driveway and insists that he lick whipped cream off of her boob. Jasmine walks by a few times before Nick puts in an end to the free show, and Corinne is devasted. So devastated that she sleeps through the rose ceremony. We say goodbye to three blondes that you won’t remember during the ceremony.

The next group date card reads “Everybody!” which is, of course, a Backstreet Boys reference. The boys crash the mansion to everyone’s delight, except for Corinne who is apparently too young to remember them. They get to learn a dance along with Nick to perform with the Backstreet Boys at their show that night. Corinne apparently sucks at “planned dancing” so she is pouting. The overachievers are Jasmine (who is an NBA dancer) and Danielle L. Danielle wins the challenge and gets to slow dance with Nick on stage.

At the after party, Corinne tries to explain her insecurities to Nick before mauling him. She also reveals that she has a nanny to the girls, without Raquel who would cut her cucumbers and make cheese pasta? Danielle gets the rose, looking very Andi Dorfman-esque.

The one-on-one date goes to Vanessa, and they get to go on a plane ride that mimics the feeling of being in space. Sounds awesome, except it involves a plane going up and down very quickly and poor Vanessa gets nauseous. But Nick is super sweet while she is throwing up and even kisses her after. It must be true love. He even cries at dinner so Vanessa is squarely in the lead here. Of course, she got the rose.

The second group date takes place at a high-school track with some well-known track and field Olympians. It’s a Nickathalon (get it?) and the girls must compete to get time with Nick in a hot tub. Astrid really needs a new sports bra and Rachel is kicking ass. Astrid wins, kinda but  Rachel gets the rose. Meanwhile, Dominique realizes that she isn’t getting any attention and is pretty peeved. She confronts Nick, and he agrees that he hasn’t noticed her and sends her home.

In lieu of a cocktail party, Nick elects to have a pool party, so the girls grab their lotion and bikinis and get to work. Corinne obviously has a plan, and it involves a bouncy castle. She lures him in there and basically dry humps him, and all the girls can see. The girls are pissed. Raven confronts Nick and drops the nanny bomb. Vanessa seconds Raven’s objection and clarifies that she is juding Nick, not Corinne. We leave the episode with the tension between Nick and the ladies, looks like he is going to have to make a decision about Corinne real soon.


The Bachelor Recap Episode 1: Dolphins in Red Dresses


2016 is over and we have a brand new Bachelor! And finally a Bachelor Fantasy League! (Join my league, Here for the Rose, password: Harrison).Ok, brand new isn’t the best term to describe good ole Nick Viall. In fact, he is a downright veteran of the franchise – making his FOURTH appearance on a Bachelor franchise show. You remember Nick, the seemingly smug guy who wore a variety of scarves and ousted his sexual encounter on After the Final Rose on Andi Dorfman’s season. Or as the guy who popped into Kaitlin’s season of the Bachelorette to be referred to as “the other guy” or my personal favorite “Viall’s gotta Vill”. And finally, how could we forget Nick on Bachelor in Paradise losing Amanda to evil Josh Murray and breaking Jen’s heart because he got a better offer? He’s back!

Love or hate Nick, we all knew this was going to be interesting. We start off with Nick listing off his faults and recounting his failed television relationships. But he’s a new man, his abs and beard prove it. This isn’t Andi Dorfman’s Nick Viall. BTW, who knew Nick had a million brothers and sisters? Nick is so ready to find the one, like so ready. He thought he was ready before, but now this is for real. Of course, he has to sit down with some alumni of the franchise for “advice”. Fan favorites Ben Higgins and Sean Lowe are trotted out along with Chris Soules – not even his ex knows why he was invited. Best advice: Don’t tell two girls that you love them, Ben Higgins.

Time to meet the ladies via very staged intro packages. Rachel is civil litigation attorney which sets a new record for the maximum number of syllables allowed in a job title on The Bachelor. Raven owns a fashion boutique in Arkansas, loves to go mudding and was clearly cast when Luke Pell was the front runner for the next Bachelor. Corinne runs her family’s “internet” business while making her nanny (yes, nanny) bring her cucumbers. Taylor is a mental health specialist, still unclear if she’s a contestant or if she was hired for her services.

It’s finally arrival time and if there is one thing that is clear, it’s that Nick doesn’t have time for your corny bullshit. He’s been there, done that. I’ll hit the high notes: a girl rides in on a camel and makes a bad hump joke, a girl calls his last name gross, one runs up to him for a “runner up” punchline, one reveals she isn’t wearing panties, one makes him eat an uncooked hot dog, and of course the shark suit. We’ll get back to the shark suit in a second. There was a lot of red dresses and a lot of talk of his failed past, I bet he loved that.

Ok so let’s talk about Alexis aka shark girl aka dolphin girl. First of all, Alexis was already wasted before walking up to Nick. Second, she wore heels in addition to the shark costume that she sported (clearly a Katy Perry left shark costume). Finally, she is determined it’s a dolphin costume. She has gills and sharp teeth but no, she insists that she is a dolphin. You see Alexis wants to be a dolphin trainer or just a dolphin, whichever is easier. She even makes a dolphin noise. This is all we hear her say other than the phrase “I’m a fucking dolphin.” Yes she made it through the rose ceremony.

Aside from the dolphin/shark, Nick has plenty of other girls to keep him busy. Corinne (nanny) gives him a sack of tokens for god knows what and proceeds to take first kiss honors. She still hasn’t mentioned this nanny thing. Rachel and Vanessa make great impressions (front runner alert). Rachel gets the first impression rose, the first time in 21 seasons that a woman of color has received it – great for her, so sad that it took this long. And we have Liz. Liz knows Nick, she slept with him at Jade and Tanner’s wedding (I love that Jade and Tanner have become Bachelor celebrities). He asked for her number but she declined but then came on the show. Nick has some questions, like WTF. Liz doesn’t have great answers, she squeaks through but he doesn’t seem sold.

We began the night with 30 women and ended with 22. I know 5 names so we are right on track. The preview assures us that we are in for the most shocking season ever (you thought that in Chris Harrison’s voice). I hope you all are ready for another wild ride!



The Bachelorette Finale Recap: Hop on a Knee


Well Bachelor Nation, we’ve reached the end of yet another journey. Jo Jo Fletcher put on her shiny $1k dress, stood in the center of some Pier One urns and choose between her two white former athletes and got a jumbo Neil Lane ring out of it. In a shock to no one, Jo Jo picked former NFL back-up (think third, fourth string) Quarterback Jordan Rogers. But we sat through two agonizing hours before that reveal and then another hour of “After the Final Rose” about the happy* couple.

Back to Thailand, JoJo has to introduce her two remaining suitors to her family. If you watched Ben’s season you know that JoJo’s mom is the best thing about her and her brothers are the worst. The brothers sadly kept mostly quiet this time around, but mom was back on it, with crazy hair and plenty of wine. Jordan is first to meet the fam, and this is big because last week he was very adamant about how important it was that he get’s JoJo’s dad’s permission to get on a knee. Because everyone knows that a proposal without the girl’s father’s permission is null and void. He breaks the ice by giving everyone silly hats, sadly no cheese heads.

He talks to JoJo’s mom and his charisma seems to allude that he knows he has this in the bag. But momma warns that Jordan is a social butterfly and maybe that’s too much in one relationship. When Jordan sits down with dad he does not ask for permission to marry JoJo, which is expertly cut with JoJo saying she wishes she could be there when he asks because she knows he will. Jordan takes off with JoJo yelling after him how great it all went, wishful thinking.

Robby is up next with a sunburnt chest and a ton of flowers. He immediately throws it out how much he loves JoJo and wants to protect her. Also, he was the first one to tell her that he loved her so he should win. Momma informs him that JoJo is a princess, he needs to make her a queen. This explains so much of the unrealistic expectations she has. He asks both the parents for permission to marry JoJo, and they can’t say yes fast enough. After he leaves the family makes it official, they are #TeamRobby. But JoJo doesn’t quite like that and starts to sob, she says she’s confused but it is clear that she really wants Jordan. In this argument her parents let it slip that Jordan didn’t ask permission to propose. Dun dun dun.

Robby has his last date with JoJo on the beach. She asks what life would be like when it was all over and we got a very elaborate tale of burning meatloaf and kids and pizza. JoJo seems all in for some burnt meatloaf that the kids don’t want anyway. Robby pours out his little plastic heart and gives JoJo some pictures that he got off of the producers which chronicles their televised love story. Doesn’t he know that a gift on the last night is the kiss of death?

Jordan is up next and they go canoeing through some rocks. JoJo tells him that she is disappointed that he didn’t ask for her dad’s permission to marry her. Jordan tries to lay it on the fact that he doesn’t know if she would accept, but JoJo ain’t buying it. He apologizes, says he loves her and wants to marry her.

The next day both men make a trip to see the master of love himself, Neil Lane. Robby picks the most god-awful gaudy ring so Jordan wins this round. Jordan also decides that he has to call JoJo’s dad. He gets permission from both parents to propose and he is ready to gel his hair for the event. Both men write JoJo a letter about how much they love her which reduces her to tears, shocking.

JoJo greets Robby, letting him tell her how much he loves her before she stops him. She can’t let him get down on one knee (propose seems to be a four letter word on this show) because she must dump him. She tells him that she wanted it to be him but it just isn’t, because you know she has no control over her own thoughts. She says that she did love him but she loves Jordan more. Ouch.

Jordan rolls up, tells JoJo he loves her and she reciprocates and lets him hop on a knee and propose. Tears and happiness and kissing, blah blah. And the live show is the definition of awkward as JoJo finally appears in an unflattering dress, Chad pitches himself for the Bachelor, and the happy couple looks less than happy. Good luck kids. Calling this a Bachelor Breakup within the next year. Sorry JoJo.

What will we do now that it’s over? Oh yeah, Bachelor in Paradise begins tonight.




The Bachelor Episode 11 Recap: The Men Tell All


My favorite two hours of “who the heck is that guy?” was back last Tuesday for the Men Tell All. We got all sorts of fun stuff including Chad, The Garden, Vinny’s Mom, and Paradise. I’m just going to hit some highlights because there is so much filler in this show.

Paradise. After The Bachelorette ends, we have the summer train wreck also known as Bachelor in Paradise. The preview for this year’s edition brings Chad, Lace, Jubilee, the Twins, and Nick Viall to name a few. Obviously, all of these are people who can handle the spotlight very well. Sadly it looks like Wells also joins the cast, permanently marking him off the list for the next Bachelor. It also looks like he goes after Ashley I, no comment. And in a shock to no one, Chad seems to be forcibly removed from the island. Yep, paradise.

Chad: All of the men come out and sit together except for Chad. There are multiple cut aways to him in his own trailer eating slices of meat and being walked to the studio by a security officer (who I bet is just a random guy who works for ABC). He even whistles on his way in. He goes back to attacking Evan, Alex, Derek, anyone possible. He even calls out Grant and Robby (though he isn’t there) for leaving their girlfriends for the show, he has gone out and found their exes. Nick B, some guy no one remembers tries to fight him. Wells tries to play psychologist but the Chad man isn’t having it.

Luke: Luke passes his entrance exam to be the next Bachelor with flying colors. He was so torn up but he loved JoJo and yes he is ready to love again. Look forward to much more Luke and his love of plaid shirts.

The Garden: Apparently there was a certain room in the mansion where all the guys in it seemed to always get roses (for a few weeks anyway) so they named it the Garden. Then they gave each other flower names: sunflower, daisy etc. These happen to be the “macho men” in the house who didn’t let anyone have feelings.

Vinny’s Mom: When JoJo came out on her apology tour to Luke and Chase she was interrupted by an audience member who wanted to know why she didn’t pick the best guy, her son Vinny. Vinny is living in a hole from now on.

And tonight, the three-hour finale. Who will JoJo pick? Jordan. She’s liked him since day one, I’m going with Mr. Rogers.




The Bachelorette Episode 10 Recap: Country Clubs & Coloring Books


Yes, yes I am horrible at getting these recaps written. Hopefully, I’ll do better in time. But I am getting these in before tonight’s finale. Can you believe that we already are at the finale? JoJo is about to possibly become engaged to a white former athlete with ridiculously voluminous hair. So much drama and suspense.

But before she cut her suitors down to two, she had four. When we left JoJo she was crouching and crying on the tarmac of an airport trying to decide if she should send Luke home. Even though he pulls her aside to finally tell her that he loves her, JoJo tells him to GTFO. Luke looks like he has been electrocuted, his eyes get wide and his mouth gapes open in disbelief. He has read up on his romance novels and he knows that he is supposed to ride off into the sunset with JoJo. There are many tears but Luke is no more, look forward to him as The Bachelor next season, I’m calling it now.

After the commercial break, the rest of the crew is magically transported to Thailand. As Jordan, Chase, and Robby know, Thailand is the PERFECT place to fall in love. Robby’s overnight date is first. He is driven up in a cart and that throws JoJo off enough that she doesn’t recognize him, so things are going well. I don’t remember what happens on the date but she does invite him to the fantasy suite, he starts calling her Joelle and we have plenty of innuendo in the morning after breakfast.

Then it’s Jordan. JoJo has all the tough questions for Jordan. Where does he see his career taking him? She is worried that he is going to travel a lot and long distance does not work for her. He says that without a home base (or as we like to call it, unemployment) that he can go wherever he wants. Jo Jo wants to know about down the road, he has no answer to that one. But off to the fantasy suite all the same and another morning after breakfast.

Last is Chase, who no one can believe is still around. He gained a personality and is very lively with JoJo. He even steals a fish, kisses it and puts it back in this market, nice one. When they take their break to prepare for dinner, Chase is playing with sand on the beach and Robby pops in on JoJo. He wants country clubs and coloring books like they talked about, you know the simple things. JoJo makes out with him before making him leave. She gives the fantasy card to Chase, but when he says he loves her she excuses herself to cry and then breaks it off. In the most likeable moment with Chase he angrily asks her why she would give him the card and accuses her of a blindside. With that, he chugs his prosecco and gets in his van that he calls “his fantasy suite”.

The rose ceremony must go on because we haven’t seen enough of Chris Harrison. So he interrogates the guys before JoJo comes in to announce that Chase is gone. Except, he isn’t. Chase pops up in a perfectly coordinated outfit to the other guys and pulls JoJo away. He apologizes for his outburst and says he didn’t want to leave it like that. He’s proud of her and he exits stage left. In a shock to no one Jordan and Robby both accept their roses. We are down to the final two!